Friday, December 10, 2010

Retroplex Cinema: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Retroplex Cinema is proud to present what is quite possibly one of the low points ever in the saga of Star Wars, but also one of great curiosity to fans over the years.  The Star Wars Holiday Special is not a film, but a television special, an absolute terrible television special that aired only once on television on November 17, 1978.  And it's a good thing it aired only once!  Let's take a look back at The Star Wars Holiday Special!

Star Wars Holiday Special (1978): Star Wars as everyone knows hit in 1977 to massive success.  With a sequel still two years away the public wanted more and they wanted more right away.  The Star Wars Holiday Special is a 2-hour long television special that aired on CBS on November 17, 1978. It starred all of the original cast of Star Wars except for Alec Guinness. Excluding commercials, the program ran about 90 minutes.
The entire show is live-action, but there is an 11 minute animated segment, that is most popular as Boba Fett's first appearance in the Star Wars universe.  George Lucas wrote the story for the program, but because of preparations for Empire Strikes Back he had hardly any further involvement.
The program is about Chewbacca trying to fly home to his family on Kashyyyk. His family consists of his father, wife, and son.  The show also has several special guest and musical appearances including the Jefferson Starship, Diahann Carroll, Bea Arthur, Art Carney, and Harvey Korman. The show did well ratings-wise but it was very boring, corny, and altogether awful. By no means is it a worthy chapter in the Star Wars universe. George Lucas hated it so much, that he made sure that it never aired again and was never released on home video. The Star Wars Holiday Special is still considered canon in the official Star Wars timeline.
    Over thirty years after its initial airdate, the Holiday Special has become a much-treasured bootleg video that most die-hard fans have in their collection. Most fans find it to be a hard two hours to sit through.

The Entire Plot (so that you can be saved from sitting through the horror of it): Onboard the Millennium Falcon, Chewbacca and Han Solo are on their way to Kashyyyk to be with Chewbacca's family for Life Day, a Wookiee holiday. After departing Tatooine, the pair find themselves being chased by two Star Destroyers. Han wants to turn back, but Chewbacca convinces him to move forward, and they jump to hyperspace
     On Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's family are anxiously awaiting and preparing for his return. Itchy is carving an X-wing toy for Lumpy, Malla is working in the kitchen, and Lumpy is playing with an already-complete X-wing toy. On the table, Malla has prepared a bowl of Wookiee-ookiees. Lumpy tries to sneak one before dinner, but Malla catches him and asks him to take out the day's garbage. Lumpy sets the trash down outside, and climbs up on the railing to walk along it.
     Back inside the house, Malla and Itchy are worried, as Chewbacca has not arrived yet. Malla takes down a picture of Chewbacca and Itchy notices her worries. He reassures her that Chewbacca is safe, and she then returns the picture. Lumpy comes back into the house, and Itchy reaches into a cabinet and gets down an activity capsule. He shows it to Lumpy. Malla, however, sees this and objects. Itchy convinces her otherwise, and inserts the capsule into a round table-machine. After Itchy switches on the device, Lumpy sits down and begins to view a computer-generated group of circus performers performing an act. At the conclusion of the performance, Lumpy applauds the acts, and switches the machine off. Malla then asks Lumpy to help wash the dishes.
     Malla and Itchy begin to worry again. Malla uses a computer to run a search for any starships in the area. However, the computer returns no results. She switches on a hidden viewscreen and contacts Luke Skywalker, who is working on his X-wing starfighter with help from the droid R2-D2. Luke does not know what has happened and suggests that Han and Chewbacca probably stopped off somewhere, and would be there soon. He begins to have a few problems of his own when the part he is working on begins to emit steam. Seeing that he is busy, Malla shuts off the communication viewscreen.
     Next, Malla contacts Saun Dann, a local Human trader on the planet. He is in the middle of a deal with an Imperial Guard when Malla contacts him, so he must handle it first. Saun Dann suggests a few items, for which the guard expresses no interest. While the guard is distracted looking at items, Saun Dann speaks with Malla through a carefully-worded message that Han and Chewbacca are on their way, and should be arriving soon. However, he too does not know of their current whereabouts. He shuts off the viewscreen, and suggests a multi-functional groomer. The guard takes the item, giving Saun Dann nothing in return. Saun Dann has no choice but to let him take it, and he sarcastically says that he considers it a gift to the guard.
    Meanwhile onboard a Star Destroyer, an Imperial officer informs Darth Vader that a blockade has been set up around Kashyyyk, and a search had begun for the Rebels. Vader tells him to continue the search, even if it takes searching every household in the system.
     Back on Kashyyyk, Malla is preparing the dinner for the night's feast. She turns on a viewscreen to view a cooking program with Gormaanda, a four-armed chef. Gormaanda gives instructions on how to prepare the Bantha rump. When she begins to speed up the process, Malla can't keep up and switches the viewscreen off.
     In space, the Millennium Falcon approaches Kashyyyk. Unaware of the blockade, Chewbacca and Han are attacked by four TIE fighters. After taking out a few using the cockpit's remote controls, Han resorts to going down into the quad cannons to use them manually; Chewbacca takes the main controls.
     On Kashyyyk, Itchy is resting in his chair while Malla is walking around. Suddenly, an Imperial officer announces on the viewscreen that a blockade has been set up around the planet, and that the Empire has declared martial law. Immediately after the announcement, they get a knock at the door. Frightened, Itchy goes to open it. To their relief, it is Saun Dann. He has brought each of them Life Day gifts. He gives Malla and Lumpy their presents first, and they go off to open them. Saun Dann then gives Itchy his present: a memory chip, which he inserts into Itchy's mind evaporator. Itchy activates thee chip, and sees a human female, whom Itchy excitedly watches perform a song.
     At a Rebel base, Leia and the droid C-3PO are working on something. Malla contacts them via viewscreen to alert them that Chewbacca and Han haven't shown up. Leia asks if Malla is alone, and is relieved that Saun Dann is there to protect her. Malla switches off the view screen. Saun Dann says he smells "Wookiee-ookiees", and he and Malla go into the kitchen.
     Back on the Millennium Falcon, Chewbacca and Han are approaching Kashyyyk. Han notices the abundance of Imperials in the area, so they decide to land on the north side of the planet—a safe section area. He notes that this is far the Wookiee household however, and will be a long walk. After a protest from Chewbacca, they decide to land as planned. As they enter the atmosphere of Kashyyyk, Lumpy hears the roaring of a ship. Everyone in the house gets excited, and run to the door. Malla opens the door to two stormtroopers holding their blaster pistols at her, with two Imperial officers behind them.
      Malla roars, but the Imperials force their way in. The head officer checks the house for all residents. He finds that a male Wookiee is missing. He his orders men to do a full search of the house. The officers proceed look through the house, nearly discovering the hidden communication device Malla uses to keep in contact with Luke. To try to distract the attention of the Imperials, Saun Dann suggests that he and Malla prepare some food for everyone. Saun Dann turns on Malla's gift—a music box—for one of the officers, and watches with the officer while Malla does the cooking.
     A holographic band appears on the box, and sings a song. When the video finishes, the head officer orders the search to continue, and for the officer who viewed the music band to get back to work. Saun Dann leaves, as he believes he cannot help further. The head officer tells Malla to keep Lumpy busy while they search, so Lumpy sits down to watch a program on a viewscreen.
     The program deals with Chewbacca, Han, Luke, Leia, R2-D2 and C-3PO's first encounter with Boba Fett, a notorious bounty hunter. During a search for a talisman, the Millennium Falcon—piloted by Chewbacca and Han—crashes on a moon in the Panna system. At a Rebel base, Luke, Leia and the droids are concerned for their safety, so Luke and the droids take a Y-Wing to the Panna moon. Upon landing, they are attacked by a giant monster. The monster begins eating part of the Y-wing, which prompts Luke to eject the cockpit. Boba Fett appears on an even bigger monster and hits the first monster with a ray from his staff, causing it to flee. He introduces himself to Luke and C-3PO, then tells them that he wants to help them. As Luke is heading toward the Millennium Falcon's crash site, C-3PO tells Luke he shouldn't be so quick to trust Boba Fett, but Luke laughs this off. They all board the ship, where Han has been infected by a sleeping virus apparently caused by the talisman. Luke immediately contracts the virus as well. Boba Fett and Chewbacca go into Panna City to get the serum for Han's condition. Once they are in the city, which is occupied by Imperials, Boba instructs Chewbacca to stay behind while he gets the serum. Once away from Chewbacca, Boba contacts Darth Vader to inform him of the situation. He reveals that he and Vader are in a plan to reveal the location of the Rebels so that Vader can stop them.
     Lumpy shouts out in horror at the events in the program. It alerts the main Imperial officer, who comes over to see what is wrong. Lumpy acts like nothing is wrong, and shuts off the cartoon when the officer approaches. He then resumes the program with C-3PO caring for Han and Luke. He and R2-D2 intercept the message between Vader and Fett on their viewscreen, and C-3PO says that they have to tell Luke. After evading the Imperials, Boba and Chewbacca return to the ship with the serum. After giving Han and Luke the serum, they recover and everyone learns of Boba Fett's true allegiance. Boba ignites his jet pack, and blasts away, promising that he will meet them again. Everyone leaves the planet on board the Millennium Falcon. Lumpy shuts off the monitor and applauds.
     Upstairs, the Imperials search and ransack Lumpy's room. One rips the head off of Lumpy's stuffed bantha. Lumpy comes up after they have gone back downstairs. He is saddened by what they have done to his treasured toy, and tries to put its head back on. He lays it down on his bed and covers it with a blanket. Lumpy then opens the present Saun Dann gave him and puts in the instruction video, which teaches him how to assemble the device—a mini-transmitter. A humanoid described as an "Amorphian Being from the system Amorphia" appears on the video. The video's announcer explains that Amorphian beings' body functions frequently stop working temporarily. Throughout the program, this Amorphian does just that. After instructing Lumpy of the basics of the product, the Amorphian shuts down completely and falls in the floor. Lumpy shuts off the video.
      Downstairs, while the Imperials are still searching, a video comes on the living room viewscreen. Its narrator describes it as "Life on Tatooine" and that it is "required viewing by all Imperial personnel", so all the Imperials in the house turn their attention to the viewscreen. At first, individuals are seen walking the streets of Mos Eisley. The focus then shifts to inside a cantina, where a band is playing and the patrons are drinking and conversing. The bartender—Ackmena—is in the process of serving drinks, when a humanoid walks in named Krelman. He seems very interested and attracted to her. Krelman offers her flowers and they begin to talk, but are interrupted by an Imperial announcement on the viewscreen—as part of their search for the Rebels, Tatooine is being put under a curfew by the Empire. The Imperial agent orders everyone to return homes immediately. Ackmena is shocked, and asks her customers to leave. When they all refuse, she suggests one more round of drinks for everyone, which she pays for herself. She then proceeds to usher them out by singing a song and dancing. Everyone eventually leaves except for Krelman, who again offers the flowers to Ackmena. The video then ends.

     After the video finishes, Lumpy's plan goes into effect. The Imperials repeatedly get a call to "return to base". They decide to leave, but the head officer instructs one of the stormtroopers to stay behind. After the other Imperials leave, the stormtrooper still hears the radio call to "return to base". He immediately sees that something is wrong because there are no more comlinks around. He determines that the sound is coming from Lumpy's room upstairs. He runs upstairs to finds Lumpy speaking into a the mini-transporter he had constructed earlier. The stormtrooper startles Lumpy, who jumps up. The stormtrooper grabs the box and smashes it on the ground. Lumpy runs down the stairs and out onto the deck, followed closely by the stormtrooper.
     Lumpy and the stormtrooper arrive outside at the same time, just as Chewbacca and Han approach the door. Chewbacca growls and runs around the stormtrooper to protect Lumpy. The stormtrooper points his gun at both of them. Secretly, Han is backing against the wall, ready to attack. The stormtrooper does not see him, and Han sneaks up and hits him. The two get ready to fight, but Han suddenly trips the stormtrooper, who breaks the railing and lets out the Wilhelm scream as he falls to his death in the trees below. Relieved, Han picks up Lumpy and hands him to his father.
     They go inside, where Malla and Itchy are waiting. Han explains that he has taken care of the threat. Chewbacca and Han hug everyone. Malla asks Han to stay, but he says he has to get back to the Millennium Falcon before someone finds it. After saying his goodbyes, Han wishes everyone a happy Life Day and leaves. The family then hears yet another knock at the door. With his bowcaster ready to fire, Chewbacca opens the door to find Saun Dann with a bag in his hand. The same Imperial officer as before appears on a viewscreen, searching for the missing stormtrooper B-4711. Saun Dann replies to the request, claiming that B-4711 was left by the other officers; after they had left, B-4711 had stolen a lot of food from his house and left without a trace. The story works, and the officer says he will send out a search party to find the missing stormtrooper. The officer disappears from the viewscreen, to everyone's relief. Before he goes, Saun Dann wishes the entire family a happy Life Day. The family then prepares to go the festival at the Tree of Life. They each take a crystal and gather them together above their heads.
     The entire family—along with many other Wookiees—are next in space dressed in red robes, and are traveling toward a bright star. They arrive at the Tree of Life, where a group of Wookiees have gathered at the tree's base. Chewbacca, C-3PO and R2-D2 stand before the other Wookiees, and Luke, Leia and Han soon join them. To begin the ceremony, Leia gives a short speech on the meaning of Life Day and sings a song in celebration. At the conclusion of the ceremony, Chewbacca remembers several of the group's adventures: when he first met Luke and Leia, when they all escaped the Death Star, when he played dejarik with R2-D2, and attending the award ceremony on Yavin IV after he and Han had helped Luke destroy the Death Star. As he finishes reminiscing, the Wookiees begin to file out of the ceremony.
     That night, Chewbacca, Malla, Lumpy and Itchy sit at the family table, where they pray and prepare to eat a Life Day meal.


So there you go and believe us, reading it is a lot less worse than watching it, but if you want to watch it, the entire program is embedded below for your viewing pleasure along with some bootleg artwork, never before made action figures of Chewie's family and more!




.
The Entire SW: Holiday Special 



The Introduction Of Boba Fett